Who I Can Help

Impact of childhood trauma on adults

If you have grown up in a dysfunctional environment, you’ll most likely show signs of that dysfunctionality as an adult. There are many recognised after-effects of childhood trauma, including:

  • The false self – either from burying of emotions, leading to losing touch with who you really are, or allowing emotions to surface, leading to reliving childhood trauma
  • Victimhood thinking – negative self-talk may make you feel you have no control over your life
  • Social withdrawal – withdrawal from the company of others as a way to reduce or remove fear, anxiety and overwhelming feelings of being watched or judged
  • Overachieving – striving to either show that you can succeed or for acceptance, often leading to disappointment and further effort to achieve in an endless cycle
  • Underachieving – experiencing low self-esteem, feeling unlovable, incompetent, often having a fragile sense of self and easily emotionally hurt by others

These and many other issues negatively impacting adult lives can stem from childhood trauma.

If you have suffered or are suffering from childhood trauma, I can help you to:

  • Become assertive and learn conflict negotiation skills
  • Rewrite your family story focusing on your accomplishments and strengths
  • Identify your values and work on your personal boundaries around them
  • Recognise and eliminate self-defeating behaviours
  • Increase your self-esteem through accepting challenges and improving your own internal dialogue

Childhood victims don’t have to live with that burden as adults. Thinking as a survivor empowers us and gives us greater control of our lives.

Call now and find out how I can help you 0409115100

Relationship issues

We all want healthy relationships with parents, siblings, work colleagues, friends and our partner. How do we know what’s healthy and what isn’t? Examples of relationship issues that can become a problem if not addressed, include:

  • Coping with narcissism – where someone has an inflated sense of their own importance and a deep need for attention and admiration, lacking in empathy for others
  • Dealing with passive aggression – someone acts indirectly aggressively rather than directly, by procrastinating or not finishing tasks, being sullen or giving the silent treatment, leaving the other person never knowing what it is they’re supposed to have done to cause upset
  • Withholding emotional support – when someone is scared but their partner dismisses those fears, or feeling no longer able to confide in a partner for fear of ridicule
  • Arguments and issues – become a problem if they are not resolved, often escalating to the extent that meaningful talking has ceased
  • Drug and alcohol abuse –coping with addiction or an addict, handling conflicting emotions and irregular behaviour

Let me help you:

  • Create a healthy balance between caring for others and yourself
  • Find solutions and compromises that benefit all
  • Support you in identifying and balancing your needs with those of your loved ones

Call now and find out how I can help you 0409115100

Depression and anxiety

Depression is the most common mental health issue, with anxiety close on its heels. It is estimated that almost 50% of people suffering depression also experience anxiety.

Although anxiety and depression present differently, they have five major symptoms in common:

  • Irritability
  • Difficulty sleeping
  • Difficulty concentrating
  • Restlessness
  • Losing pleasure in everyday life

Though difficult to pinpoint the exact causes of depression, it is acknowledged that most people will suffer with some form of depression and anxiety in their life. The most important thing is recognising the condition and doing something about it.

Most at risk are individuals who tend to stress a lot, the perfectionists, the sensitive and those with low self-esteem.

Untreated depression and anxiety can lead to excessive drug and alcohol use, masking the hopelessness and unhappiness resulting from depression.

These are some common thoughts associated with depression:

  • I’m a failure
  • It’s my fault
  • Nothing good ever happens to me
  • I’m worthless
  • There is nothing good in my life
  • Things will never change
  • Life’s not worth living
  • People would be better off without me

I can help you to:

  • Explore negative thinking, replacing it with healthier alternatives
  • Recognise the difference between productive and unproductive worries
  • Learn how to solve your own problems
  • Find ways that work for you to control anxiety and the physical symptoms of tension

Call now and find out how I can help you 0409115100

Weight Management

Food As An Addiction

It is scientifically proven that food can be as addictive as smoking, drinking and drugs.

I’ll show you how to re-wire your brain and recognise the difference between brain hunger and physical hunger.

Learn why we are prisoners of our own food choices and why a healthy eating plan won’t work without first addressing underlying addictions.

Going on a healthy eating plan, we have such high expectations of losing weight, and fast – we often go cold turkey, giving up all the foods we (and our bodies!) love.

Unfortunately, our body has other ideas – wanting to maintain the level of unhealthy foods it’s used to having – and sending signals to the brain leading to intense cravings.

Why Food Is A Drug?

Neuroscientists found that when we eat or drink our favourite things we get a hit of dopamine, our natural pleasure hormone. The more we have, the bigger the hit and the more pleasure we experience.

Despite popular misconception that obese people love and get greater joy from food, the truth is that the more severe the food addiction, the less pleasure the food addict experiences when eating, therefore they have to eat more to get the same amount of pleasure.

From there, it becomes a need to chase the pleasure you no longer get from eating the smaller amounts you used to eat.

Making matters worse, our brain circuitry responds to all this by causing us to feel depressed, stressed out, moody and irritable, which in turn makes us want to eat more.

You don’t have to be obese to get into this negative cycle.

So, how do you rewire the brain?

1. Name the brain hunger for what it is
  • Learn to recognise the difference between brain hunger and physical hunger
  • Take time to listen to your body to learn the difference
  • Learning to name brain hunger with calmness and clarity strengthens our ability to observe it without having to indulge in food
2. Observe the symptoms of your eating habits

Knowing the signs of brain hunger and calmly acknowledging them for what they are:

“I know what you want but I’m not going to allow you to overpower me, I will not indulge you”

Think of it like when someone asks you to do something you really do not want to do!

Your choices are to:

  • Give in grudgingly, accepting that’s the way it is and just getting on with it
  • Resist and overpower the request through knowledge and rational argument
3. Name the real cause of the eating habits

Where counselling really makes a positive difference – identifying what you cannot see lying behind the overeating and preparing a bag of tools for helping you recognise and cope with whatever that is.

4. Measure your progress to experience success – very important!

Those first 3 steps inevitably present challenges – succeed at first 1 out of 5 times, then 2 out of 5 and keep building on your successes.

Along the way, learn to love yourself and your body again.

I can help you with every step

If you would like some help please contact me Here

Cancer and other Life-threatening illness

Sometimes taking care of yourself can be difficult
Whatever your circumstances.

When dealing with illness, navigating the right path for you can mean the difference between a challenging or traumatic experience.

The same can be said of caring for loved ones suffering from cancer or any other life-threatening illness.

Difficult circumstances provoke many questions, some of which might resonate with you:

  • “How do I cope with the financial and emotional challenges ahead?”
  • “How can I care for my children, marriage/partnership without damaging those relationships?”
  • “How can I choose what’s best for others unable to decide for themselves, without guilt or frustration?”

LET ME HELP YOU

  • Determine how you want to approach your treatment going forward
  • Create a healthy balance between caring for others and yourself
  • Find solutions and compromises to benefit all
  • Manage any overwhelming feelings of guilt or frustration

I can give you the space to talk about the cancer or other illness affecting you or your loved ones, exploring what it means to you and how you would like to manage it.

Call now and find out how I can help you 0409115100

Caring for the Elderly and others

Taking care of your aging parents can be difficult
Whatever your circumstances.

Choosing the correct course of action for you and those you’re caring for can lessen a potentially traumatic experience to a merely challenging one – for everyone involved.

Questions we ask ourselves in such circumstances, include:

  • “How do I manage the parent-child role-reversal that I feel is happening?”
  • “How do I cope with the financial and emotional challenges ahead?”
  • “How will I be able to continue caring for my children, marriage/partnership without damaging those relationships?”

With life expectancy increasing for both ourselves and our parents, and the government raising the pension age, it’s reasonable to have concerns about our ability to care for our elderly parents and other dependents.

How do we care for those in need without losing ourselves as individuals?

The challenge of how to do the best for all can be overwhelming and give rise to feelings of guilt, frustration, etc.

LET ME HELP YOU

  • Create a healthy balance between caring for others and yourself
  • Help you find solutions and compromises that benefit all
  • Support you in identifying and balancing your needs as well as those of your loved ones

I can give you the space to talk about yourself or for the caring of your aged parents, what it means to you and how you would like to manage it.

Call now and find out how I can help you 0409115100